Speaking My Truth 

This year of turning 40 has given me an incredible opportunity to slow down and reflect just how awesome all the seeds God has planted in my heart over the years and how so many of them have grown to fruition.

10 years ago, I began having a stirring in my heart to share my journey of marriage, being a mom and starting a business.  I wasn’t sure how it would look…write a book, be a mentor, public speaking or just simply sharing it in my day to day life with those I encountered.

What was so confusing to me about this stirring in my heart was that every time I felt this call, I would immediately feel anxious at the same time.  Crazy questions would flood my head, “who are you to talk about these things”, “what makes you think you have something that others want to hear”, “you suck at public speaking”, “you get stuck on finding words and your vocabulary sucks”, “you are too emotional and will probably just cry when you get in front of others” and  “who wants to listen to someone who does not have control over their emotions?”

As I have been reflecting, I can see that the Lord placed public speaking on my heart and then set into action years of preparation so that I would get to a point of having the courage to say YES to His work.  This year, I have been asked to speak on multiple stages to hundreds of people.  Over a lifetime, the Lord has prepared me with opportunities to increase my courage, situations that I initially saw as complicated or difficult to help build up my communication skills and leading me to people who encourage and support my new public speaking platform.  People who believe in my message and are pointing me in the right direction.

It is all so incredible to me since 10 years ago, the idea of public speaking made me physically sick.  I would get an upset stomach, race to the restroom multiple times if I had to speak to more than 3 people at a time and battle a racing heart ready to jump out of my chest at just the thought of it all.

I joined a Toastmasters Club over a year ago at the suggestion of one of my mentors, I am actively working on public speaking skills and with each opportunity to speak in public, I become more trusting and clearer that this is all His work.  He has been with me this entire time, guiding me in a way that I needed so that I would be ready to share my journey with others.  Working on my public speaking skills will be a lifetime journey but is no longer something that scares me.

This weekend I have been asked to speak to a group of Veteran Women Entrepreneurs.  I have butterflies in my stomach as I have been preparing the last few weeks, but the butterflies feel more like excitement and not fear.  How awesome God is and the seeds He plants within us.