40 for 40 - Experience #3 

Making the decision to not drink for 365 days is by far the one I worried the most about. It was risky for me to add this to the list of 40 new experiences because I absolutely love wine. All who know me, know my fondness for red wine in my decorated chalice full of purple embellishments. Most gifts I receive have a theme of red wine. I love red wine so much that I even have my very own portable chalice carrier with a homemade protective casing so that I can travel with my favorite chalice.

I love the taste, the relaxation experienced, the sacredness of life I feel when sharing wine with my husband, family and friends. There is an openness of spirit, an enhancement of a meal made with love and the looseness of my body when I dance after a few glasses of my most treasured drink.

For our wedding, I had handkerchiefs made that said — Peace, Love and Wine. I have a collection of wine bottles, wine corks and even a little feathery dress that can be slipped over a wine bottle for fun wine fashion.

So why in the world would I put 365 days of no drinking on my list?

There are many reasons that all aim towards the main reason. During deep and ongoing reflections about my upcoming year of 40, the one thing that I intuitively desired more than anything else for the year was to be fully AWAKE. I have BIG hopes for 2018, and I knew in my soul that if I was going to put my intentions and prayers up to God, that I better be fully AWAKE for HIS response. I knew that I had to create new relationships, new boundaries, and new habits — not just with wine — but also with nutrition, exercise, spiritual devotion, listening, communicating, silence, self-care, my husband, my children and most importantly with my own deepest and authentic desires.

So the question that I forced myself to answer — What are the things/habits/relationships/boundaries that are quietly suffocating me? What is preventing me from being fully AWAKE? I realized that there were several items sheepishly hiding behind my ego and red wine was one of them.

With this most unwelcomed truth, I now needed to know if this abstinence was a permanent relationship, seasonal relationship, only on the weekend’s relationship, or a 1-night a week relationship? What was the new relationship I needed to have with wine? Then, one day while I was in the shower, it came to me. It was as clear as if it was spoken right out of the shower head — 365 days. It was so clear, that there was nothing in me to contest it.

It has been 45 days and curiously enough, it has not been as hard as I thought it would be. Now don’t get me wrong, not every day has been easy, but it is definitely not as hard as I imagined it might be. Some days I am rather surprised with myself that my most favorite drink did not make a single visit to my mind for the entire day. I am continuing to stay curious about my thoughts, feelings and experience with this “dry year”.

My new drink is bubbly water with a splash of cranberry juice and today I raise my glass up to you.

Cheers to honoring our deepest and most authentic desires and being willing to do whatever it takes to bring them forth.​